dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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