Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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