Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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