i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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