even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
