I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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