he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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