i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
