I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
