I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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