Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Your cock deserves a montage
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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