sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
