U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize