I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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