There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
