their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
