Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
