just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
