We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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