Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
No subtext here. People are naked.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
