Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
