No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
birth control should be required to get into college
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
