whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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