Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
