so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
