operation harelip BJ is a go
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
