This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
