Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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