My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize