im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
