just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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