I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I didn't notice because vodka
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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