i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
A bitchslap is in order.
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