if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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