yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
