So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Randomize
