If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
tell me about the eggs
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
