is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
