nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Shame is for Republicans.
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