This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
