just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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