dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
All I want is dick and wine.
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