that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
