Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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