sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
