I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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