yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
