I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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