This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Randomize
