Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
