i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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