at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
