lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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