i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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