Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
