Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I need to align my fucking chakras
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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