how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize
