just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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