There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
