But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
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