i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I cockslap morals
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
