instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize