As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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