I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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