What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
