So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
