i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I have post one night stand depression
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
