How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
