Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
